remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
