You really coming over, don't trick.
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
