this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Ketchup is God's man juice
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Randomize
