Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
You dont lie about slip and slides
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Randomize
