I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
