Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
porn star boner night. come get it.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
