Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
