i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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