is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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