I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
The feeling are messing with the penis
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
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