i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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