Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize
