She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
not ubering you a puppy
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Randomize
