Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Randomize
