I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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