i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Randomize
