I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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