For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Randomize
