Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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