last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
