K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
