I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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