Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
Randomize
