Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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