I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
