I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
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