apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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