Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
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