How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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