why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
