U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
