You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Randomize
