we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
can u get pink eye on your cock?
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Randomize
