I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Randomize
