party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
