Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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