The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
