Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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