did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
In America we eat man semen.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
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