dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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