youre lurking in front of me
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Randomize
