Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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