Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
I just googled if crying burns calories
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Randomize
