HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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