I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I'm just crazy horny about you
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
