yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I stole a fireplace last night.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Randomize
