she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
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