***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
