Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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