I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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