we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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