so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
